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OH HELL NO: Ariana Grande And Jessie J Are Remaking ‘The Boy Is Mine’

Melody

Tue, November, 11 by

I know some of you might be excited to hear this, but I’m not. Producer Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins revealed today that he is working on a remake of the 1998 Brandy and Monica hit The Boy Is Mine with pop heavyweights Jessie J and Ariana Grande. No. Nope. Not okay. Sorry, I’m a fan of said artists, but this is not acceptable.

The song is a classic. This was the best collaboration of the ’90s, featuring two of the biggest names in R&B at the time and those vocal performances cannot be recreated.

Yes, Bang Bang was good and an indication that Jessie J and Ariana Grande are capable of carrying a collab to the top of the charts (though, let’s not forget Nicki Minaj’s huge contribution to the track’s success), but let’s not f–k with a classic like The Boy Is Mine, okay?

As proven through live and recorded versions of Bang Bang, as well as their individual releases, Jessie J and Ariana Grande like to over-sing. Like, there’s belting it out and then there’s what these two do. Try to listen to Bang Bang and not imagine the two constantly trying to outdo one another verse-by-verse. The song is practically a shouting contest between the two.

And as much as The Boy Is Mine is a tale of two strong females fighting over a man (sorry, a boy), there’s a refined, almost restrained, take on singing that, quite honestly, I don’t know if Jessie J and Ariana Grande can recreate.

Sometimes, it’s just nice to keep the classics where they belong. Plus, who’s going to play Mekhi Phifer?!

[UPDATE: This isn’t actually happening. PHEW.]