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We’re sad to say it, but it’s time we all accept that a future without One Direction may be coming sooner than we thought. With Zayn Malik’s recent departure and Louis Tomlinson’s announcement that he’s starting his own record label, plus the constant rumours that Harry Styles is ready to leave the band, we feel like the writing is on the wall. The beloved UK boy band might be going their own directions. We find bad puns helpful in times of grief.
All four remaining members of One Direction may surprise us and stick it out for another 20 years, but in case they announce their retirement from the world of boy bands tomorrow, we want to be ready with our predictions.
Louis Tomlinson, Future Simon Cowell
Louis has already begun taking steps in securing his career after the end of One Direction. He will now be referred to as ‘the smart one’. Boy band success doesn’t last forever. Just ask N*Sync, Backstreet Boys, O-Town…actually, just ask any boy band. Members leave. Tickets become more difficult to sell. Cute faces become just faces. It’s difficult to stay at the top for long and that’s why Tomlinson starting a record label now while he’s still riding high on the 1D success train is a brilliant move. Get this man some black V-neck tees!
Harry Styles, Movie Star
I think we can all agree that Harry Styles is a movie star that has yet to star in a movie. It’s just something that is inevitable. Does he have talent on the big screen? Who cares. If there’s a reboot of Gossip Girl, we have the perfect guy to play Chuck Bass. He would be such a good Chuck Bass!
Liam Payne, Record Producer
Before joining One Direction, Liam Payne was a music student at the City of Wolverhampton College. Payne has written songs for 1D and with famous friend and fellow songwriter Ed Sheeran at his side, could definitely break into the songwriting business full time. That’s the good place to be. You make great money and can eat whatever you want without having to worry about paparazzi following you into a Pizza Hut at 3 am.
Niall Horan, Professional Party Boy/Caddy
There’s something about Niall Horan that has always made us think he and Prince Harry would probably have a really good time together. The young singer is often photographed out with a variety of beautiful women and with his innocent good looks and cheeky attitude, we think Horan could get hooked up with an older lady of the upper class and really ride the party boy lifestyle out for years to come. He also recently caddied for professional golfer Rory Mcllroy, so there’s always that to fall back on if the money runs out.
Bonus! Zayn Malik, Largest Collector of One Direction Paraphernalia
Lbr for a minute. One year from now the liklihood of Malik regretting his decision to leave One Direction is really, really, really high.