Did you go somewhere fun and exciting for spring break? Good for you. Really, we’re happy for you. We’re also insanely jealous and wish we also shortened our life span with too much sun and fun, but alas, we were stuck at home cleaning out our closets and trying to avoid Instagram. It was just too painful.
If you did go on spring break and now want to tell us about it, go ahead. Before you do though, there are 10 things we should probably tell you now that we already hate about your spring break.
1. We hate your tan. Sure, we could use bronzer and get the same look, but we’ll still know we didn’t to sit in the warm sun to earn it.
2. Ditto for your burn. Even though it looks really painful, it’s the result of not being in this never-ending winter. No, we don’t want to hear how much your skin is peeling.
3. We hate your ‘you had to be there stories’. Please stop right now. We will literally burst from FOMO.
4. Our Facebook feed is now comprised of all your new friend notifications. Nah uh.
5. Is Turn Down For What track ‘the official song of your spring break’? Are you a basketball team suddenly and have your own theme song? No, now stop ruining that jam for us.
6. Stop with the hashtags abuse. #greatestspringbreakever #sodrunk #greatestweekofmylife #cups #pool
#beach #sunsoutbunsout etc.
7. Don’t act like you forgot it was winter. We hate that. It’s just as cold now as when you left and you were fine them. Your blood didn’t thin in one week, you just have sunstroke.
8. We hate your new nickname. That’s very nice that someone started calling you Banana Jams on the first day of spring break, but we refuse to be a part of that.
9. Stop texting people you’re never going to see again while we’re in the middle of a conversation. We hate that.
10. It’s not tank top weather yet and we’re at work. At least put a blazer over your neon pink shirt.