In “Twaining Day,” the newest episode of Broad City, Abbi and Ilana both wrestle with some big existential questions. Oh, and they meet Shania Twain and RuPaul.
Sometimes lying’s way easier (and safer) than telling the truth, which is why Abbi lied about winning Powerball right before quitting her job at Soulstice. It turns out she also lied for years about being Shania Twain’s trainer, a fib that comes back to bite her when she actually does run into the “Canadian queen of country pop” while dropping by Soulstice to pick up a package. Abbi tries sneaking up on Shania and Trey, her old boss slash sort-of boyfriend, to take a picture of the pop chanteuse in action.
Unfortunately Soulstice trainer Maria catches Abbi in the act and puts her in a headlock. But fortunately Trey (kind of) lets Abbi finally fulfill her dream of becoming a trainer by agreeing to let her help train Shania.
Abbi and Trey actually work pretty well together until their obvious unresolved sexual tension starts getting in the way. They try to deny it—after Abbi says she’s a Ross and Trey insists he’s a Rachel, they quickly change their minds and switch to the much safer Phoebe and Gunther. But even Shania, the “maker of love songs,” can see what’s going on and tells Abbi that “when there’s a spark, you gotta ride it.”
While Shania pats herself on the back for coming up with a fire new song lyric, Abbi takes her wise words to heart and proceeds to have sex with Trey in basically every room in Soulstice— including the sauna, where Trey ultimately suffers from a “penile fracture.”
Abbi finally decides to come clean with Trey and admits that she didn’t actually win Powerball but doesn’t correct him when Trey claims she’s “not the relationship type,” even though she clearly doesn’t agree. After meeting (and immediately starting a relationship with) Mike the paramedic, Abbi insists that she’s going to be completely honest moving forward. But how long will her new philosophy on life (and her new boyfriend) last? What was in Abbi’s package? And, most importantly, have we seen the last of Trey?
Meanwhile, Ilana has to decide whether she wants to kill people with kindness or actually kill people (emotionally, of course). After Jaimé recommends her for a waiter position, Ilana meets her soon-to-be employer Marcel (RuPaul Charles) who warns her that she’s got to be cold and unemotional to make it in the Manhattan restaurant world.
He doesn’t think she’s cut out for it and recoils when he finds out that she waited tables in Long Island, of all places. But after she tells him off for managing a restaurant that’s only got a “B” health rating, he has a change of heart and deems her worthy.
Ilana quickly learns to embrace her inner Regina George and starts insulting people left and right, which somehow makes them want to buy the most expensive items on the menu. She even (accidentally) trips fellow waiter Brenda (Sandra Bernhard), earning her the nickname “Other Tonya.” But thanks to a crumpled piece of tinfoil, Ilana’s able to talk it out and realize that she’s not cut out to be cutthroat.
Even after admitting that she’s a “good witch” and not a “bad witch,” Ilana’s still able to make $800 in tips by using her uncanny ability to dish out compliments and detect when people are high. But then, sure enough, she ends up totally ignoring another co-worker when he tries to open up about Marcel being his estranged father. Ilana’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Just because this week’s episode was surprisingly philosophical doesn’t mean Abbi and Ilana are getting serious on us. Here are some of our favourite lines from the episode.
“Not all Canadians are prudes, you know.” – Shania Twain, talking to Abbi about her relationship with Trey
“I wouldn’t recommend steroids for you yet, but we’ll see where we wanna go.” – Trey talking to Shania Twain about her “fitness regime”
“Just because Sex and the City filmed here 25 years ago one time doesn’t mean that I need this.” – Ilana talking to Marcel about his restaurant
“Man! I feel like a smoothie.” – Shania Twain after Trey tells her to take five
Watch new episodes of Broad City every Thursday at 2:30 a.m. ET.