Amy Schumer’s 2016 Goals As Told By Her Twitter


You may as well rename “April” to “Amy” this year—she’ll be all over your TV next month.

It starts on April 9 with her special Mostly Sex Stuff, then the following Saturday, her HBO special Live At The Apollo will air. You can catch both on The Comedy Network so you can prepare yourself for the season four premiere of Inside Amy Schumer on Thursday, April 21.

But some people (mainly us) are saying that’s just simply not enough Amy. So we took to her Twitter, looked through all 1,954 of the people she follows, and asked how could we get even more Amy Schumer. Here’s eight things we would love to see the comedienne do with some of the people she follows on Twitter.

Appear on Total Divas

It almost seems as though half of the people Schumer follows on Twitter are wrestlers. So the next step is obviously showing up on Total Divas and completely shaking up the game. Things could get a little awkward between her and Nikki Bella though…


Live-tweet all five seasons of The Wire

Schumer follows David Simon (creator of the show), Michael B. Jordan (Wallace), Wendell Pierce (Bunk Moreland), Michael Kenneth Williams (Omar) and a The Wire fan page. You can’t follow all those accounts and not let your almost four million followers know exactly where you are in the series. Live-tweet it for us Amy.


Compete on @midnight

She follows Chris Hardwick, so it’s obvious Amy is itching to be on @midnight. But wait a tick… she follows Chris Hardwick, but doesn’t follow the @midnight account. Our Spidey senses are tingling. Could Amy be the mastermind behind @elevenish and she’s just following Chris Hardwick to eventually rub it in his bearded face? Seems legit enough. Or maybe she just hasn’t gotten around to following the @midnight account. Suppose we’ll never know.


Cameo on Broad City

Can you imagine an episode of Broad City where Amy plays Ilana’s long-lost friend, who’s actually the reason for Ilana’s antics? She already follows essentially everyone involved with the show on Twitter, so you know they’ve been planning this for a while. At least, we can dream they have.


Be in Ronda Rousey’s corner for her next fight

She’s already photographed her and Rousey hanging out. Let’s take this friendship to the next step. This would have been especially perfect if Rousey’s next fight was against Amy’s apparent look-alike Holly Holm. She follows all the necessary people in this equation to make it a reality (really just Dana White and Rousey herself). Maybe the Rousey vs. Holm rematch will eventually happen, because we think a staredown between Schumer and Holm would be pretty epic/hilarious.

A photo posted by @amyschumer on

Cook on Epic Meal Time

She follows Harley Morenstein, the co-creator of the Internet phenomenon Epic Meal Time and the two even recently bonded over crude humour. Together, they might kill the crow, but it kind of sounds like a match made in heaven if you ask us.


Play in the World Series of Poker

Oddly enough, Amy follows a bunch of professional poker players on Twitter. Maybe she’s just been training for the World Series of Poker main event in July. She is reportedly getting PAID for her next movie, so the $10,000 buy-in shouldn’t be a problem, especially if she’s been getting tips from guys like Phil Ivey and Daniel Negreanu.


Come to Much HQ

Yeah, this one was pretty obvious. She follows us on Twitter so we think it’s only fair she comes visit us. Hey Amy, we see you’ll be in Buffalo on May 7 and your next show in Florida isn’t until a week later. Just swing by on your break. Please.


Or maybe she’ll just take 2016 to relax

A likely alternative.