It’s been over a year since the Manchester Arena bombing that took place during Ariana Grande’s Dangerous Woman concert on May 22, 2017. Though Grande has been somewhat tight-lipped with how the attack has impacted her life, in the August issue of Elle the international pop star bares her soul to discuss her post-traumatic stress.

It’s been almost a year since @ArianaGrande fled a UK terrorist attack that claimed 22 lives, injuring 500 more, at the sold-out Manchester show of Ariana’s Dangerous Woman tour. “When I got home from tour, I had really wild dizzy spells, this feeling like I couldn’t breathe,” she tells ELLE during her cover interview. “I would be in a good mood, fine and happy, and they would hit me out of nowhere. I’ve always had anxiety, but it had never been physical before. There were a couple of months straight where I felt so upside down.” She shared the experience with her friend Pharrell Williams. Together they created “Get Well Soon,” the final track on #Sweetener. Link in bio for our full conversation with #ArianaGrande and her mom, @joangrande, on life after the Manchester attack, “loving a bit more fearlessly,” and the importance of being an ally. . . ELLE August 2018 credits: editor-in-chief: @ninagarcia creative director: #stephengan photographer: @alexilubomirski stylist: @natasharoyt hair: @thejoshliu makeup: @patrickta

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After returning home from the attack that left 22 dead and hundreds injured, Grande suspended her tour and didn’t speak for two days, questioning whether she would ever feel okay to perform again.

With the help of her mother, love from her fans, and her feelings for Manchester, Grande thankfully found the strength to return to the stage. Bravely, Grande hopped on a plane back to England to host the One Love Manchester Concert, an event that raised $23 million for the We Love Manchester Emergency Fund.

“When I got home from tour, I had really wild dizzy spells, this feeling like I couldn’t breathe,” Grande said to Elle. “I would be in a good mood, fine and happy, and they would hit me out of nowhere. I’ve always had anxiety, but it had never been physical before. There were a couple of months straight where I felt so upside down.”

“She loves a bit more fearlessly than she did before.”—@joangrande. Link in bio for our full August 2018 cover story with #ArianaGrande and her mom. . . ELLE August 2018 credits: editor-in-chief: @ninagarcia creative director: #stephengan photographer: @alexilubomirski stylist: @natasharoyt hair: @thejoshliu makeup: @patrickta

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As the world continues to bring news of attacks and tragedies, Grande still struggles with anxiety from time to time when she’s about to step on stage to perform.

“You hear about these things,” said the 25-year-old singer. “You see it on the news, you tweet the hashtag. It’s happened before, and it’ll happen again. It makes you sad, you think about it for a little, and then people move on. But experiencing something like that firsthand, you think of everything differently…it’s the most inspiring thing in the world that these kids pack the venue.”

A lot of mainstream top 40 types—those who, say, have a certain Reputation—are seemingly reluctant to take a political stance. The fear being, presumably, a loss of fan base and revenue. “That’s wild to me,” Ariana says. She is loud and proud in her anti-Trumpism and has aligned herself with gun reform and Black Lives Matter. The interviewer wonders if she’s gotten any backlash. “Of course!” she says. “There’s a lot of noise when you say anything about anything. But if I’m not going to say it, what’s the fucking point of being here? Not everyone is going to agree with you, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to shut up and sing my songs. I’m also going to be a human being who cares about other human beings; to be an ally and use my privilege to help educate people.” Link in bio for our full August 2018 cover story with #ArianaGrande. . . ELLE August 2018 credits: editor-in-chief: @ninagarcia creative director: #stephengan photographer: @alexilubomirski stylist: @natasharoyt hair: @thejoshliu makeup: @patrickta

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In her interview with Elle, Grande also highlighted the final song on her upcoming album, called “Get Well Soon.” According to Grande, the song, created with the help of Pharrell Williams, is about Grande’s anxiety struggles, featuring lyrics like “They say my system is overloaded / Girl, what’s wrong with you? Come back down.” In a tweet published in May of this year, Grande explained “Get Well Soon” to a fan:

isss ab my anxiety. i felt like i was floating for like 3 months last year & not in a nice way. like i outside my body? was v scary and i couldn’t breathe well. so it’s ab that. & lots of voices in my head singin. i hope it comforts ppl who hear it pls

— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) May 29, 2018

Since the attack, Grande cites a whole new perspective on life and the privilege of her status. She now takes it upon herself to speak up on matters such as gun violence and Black Lives Matter. In turn, as an artist, the Manchester incident’s influence has also seeped into Grande’s music.

“Not everyone is going to agree with [me], but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to shut up and sing my songs. I’m also going to be a human being who cares about other human beings; to be an ally and use my privilege to help educate people.”

Sweetener, Ariana Grande’s highly-anticipated album, is scheduled to drop on August 17, 2018.