“There’s no business like show business. Like no business I knoooooow!”
Sunday is the biggest night of the year in Hollywood: The Academy Awards! There are some great films and talented actors up for Oscars this year. Depending on who you think was missed (*cough* David Oyelowo), you have to admit that the people who were nominated were, for the most part, deserving.
But, no one has a perfect record so we dove into their filmography and sniffed out the stinkers. These are not, “look at where they started” roles. One of these movies came out less than two years ago.
Check out the worst movies from some of this year’s Oscar nominees. Trust us, you will want to watch the trailers. So much voiceover.
Bradley Cooper (Best Actor for American Sniper) – All About Steve
This movie is best known as the movie that earned Sandra Bullock a Razzie the same year she won an Oscar for Best Actress in The Blind Side. Always a good sport, Sandra showed up to accept her award for Worst Actress pulling a wagon full of DVD copies of the movie. In All About Steve, Bradley plays the titular Steve, a news cameraman. Sandra’s character Mary and Steve get set up on a date and let’s just say Mary comes on strong. So strong that she decides to follow him to news events to convince him that they are meant to be. We don’t mean to put too fine a point on it, but the character of Mary may have set back the women’s movement, even if she did kind of turn it around at the end. Girl power, remember Sandy?
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 7%
Critic Diss: “On paper, a crazy romcom starring Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper could only be a good thing. Wrong.” – Simon Braund, Empire Magazine
Michael Keaton (Best Actor for Birdman) – First Daughter
I don’t think anyone would turn down a movie role where you get to play the President. Even if that role is in a silly teen movie about the daughter of the President trying to live a normal life at college. This is actually a good idea for a movie and we would be excited to see a well made film with that story. But this is not it. It also wasn’t Chasing Liberty, another movie about being the president’s daughter that came out in 2004, the same year as First Daughter. No one put it better than the critic Matthew Turner who said, “Keaton and Holmes should seriously consider firing their agents, as they both deserve better than this.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 8%
Critic Diss: “Perhaps the only redeeming factor is that both the President and the First Lady are devoted to their daughter. Otherwise, this film should be impeached.” – Mary Lasse, Christianity Today
Ralph Fiennes (Star of Best Picture Nominee, The Grand Budapest Hotel) – The Avengers
Okay, when we saw this movie back when it first came out, we really dug it. It was so stylish that our pre-teen selves though that it was a cool art film. Apparently it was not. Although we have not revisited it since then, this movie has a really bad reputation. Based off of the very cool television series from the 60’s, The Avengers movie (not The Avengers of present day) follows ultra-cool secret agents John Steed (Fiennes) and Emma Peel (Uma Thurman) on their mission to gain power of a weather control device from a super villain. Sounds good to us but apparently it was a stinker. Maybe we will give it a re-watch. We hope we don’t regret it.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 5%
Critic Diss: “This Avengers film is so horrendously, painfully and thoroughly awful, it gives other cinematic clunkers like Ishtar and Howard the Duck a good name.” – Stephen Hunter, Washington Post
Steve Carell (Best Actor for Foxcatcher) – Sleepover
Sure, it isn’t like we had to dig through Steve Carell’s long filmography of avant-garde dramas and Shakespearean adaptations. He doesn’t have an incredible track record of pushing cinematic boundaries. That is a lot of the reason why his role as John du Pont in Foxcatcher has gotten so much attention. But, his role as a security guard in the teen movie Sleepover really makes us smile/cringe. It is bad. But we still kind of like it. The movie is about a group of girls who sneak out of their house to do a big scavenger hunt. The girls break into the cute boy’s house and then Steve Carell’s character chases after them. Sure, it is terrible, but we would watch it if it came on TV one day.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 15%
Critic Diss: “A terrible film.” – Richard Roeper, Ebert & Roeper
Julianne Moore (Best Actress for Still Alice) – The Ladies Man
Okay, The Ladies Man is not a terrible movie if you are in the mood for something like that. We all feel like watching a bad-ish SNL spin-off movie every once in a while. It isn’t even Julianne Moore’s worst-reviewed film. But this, THIS, is one of the most surprising things we have ever seen. Julianne Moore is a goddess who has a reputation of knowing what roles to pick. In 2015, just having her name on the bill makes everyone sure that a movie is good. But in 2000, Julianne played one of The Ladies Man’s lovers, alongside Tim Meadows. Not only that, SHE PLAYED A WOMAN WHO HAS SEX IN A CLOWN COSTUME.
May we note that this movie came out after she had already starred in TWO Paul Thomas Anderson movies (Boogie Nights and Magnolia). Oi.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 11%
Critic Diss: “Any criticism of a film like The Ladies Man is essentially moot.” – Wade Major – Boxoffice Magazine
Ethan Hawke (Best Supporting Actor for Boyhood) – Getaway
Unlike most of the other films on this list, Getaway is a very recent film. So recent that it co-stars a fairly grown-up Selena Gomez and came out in 2013. In the movie, a washed-up race car driver is forced to follow the every demand of a mysterious voice talking to him in his car after his wife is kidnapped. Selena Gomez (who earned a Razzie nom for her role) plays a hood rat who tries to car jack Ethan Hawke and gets caught up in the mess. Sure, the trailer doesn’t really tip off its terribleness, but this movie is just a mess.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 2%
Critic Diss: “It’s all you can do not to laugh. Oh, go ahead. But be forewarned that there are many miles to go before we get to the end and it will feel like an eternity before any of it makes sense.” – John Anderson, Wall Street Journal
You can watch this year’s Academy Awards on Sunday at 8:30E/5:30P on CTV. For more Academy Awards coverage, check out Much.ca on Sunday night during the show!