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One of the most used words in Demi Lovato’s new YouTube documentary Simply Complicated is ‘authentic.’ It’s used to describe Lovato a number of times by those closest to her and it’s a word that is attributed to much of Lovato’s success. Her authenticity makes her appealing to fans. It also makes her one of the most honest entertainers in the music world.
Directed by Hannah Lux Davis, Simply Complicated is easily broken up into two separate films. The first half is an unflinching and honest retelling by Lovato and her friends and family of the singer’s rise to stardom and her struggles with addiction, bipolar disorder and an eating disorder. The second half, which strays from the traditional docu-style and incorporates music video-styled performances, focused on the lighter side of Lovato, including her love life, her newfound interest in martial arts, and her commitment to music.
While the second half of the documentary presents the Lovato fans know best, the first half is a startling and brave retelling of period that Lovato has previously spoken about, but never to this extent. Her struggles with addiction, her time spent in rehab, and her infamous attack against a back up dancer made headlines, but for the first time Lovato is telling her fans exactly what happened in her own words. It’s difficult to think of another celebrity who has willingly stepped forward to share a past they’re not proud of in hopes of helping others battling similar demons.
The entire doc is a must-watch, but here are 10 of the most shocking and honest quotes from Demi Lovato in Simply Complicated.
“I actually had anxiety around this interview. The last time I did an interview this long I was on cocaine. It was called Staying Strong.”
“My first time doing coke, I was 17 and working on Disney Channel and I was with a couple friends. They introduced me to it. I was scared, because my mom always told me that your heart could just burst if you do it, but I did it anyways and I loved it. I felt out of control with the coke the first time that I did it.”
“My dad was an addict and an alcoholic and I guess I always searched for what he found in drugs and alcohol because it fulfilled him and he choose that over a family.”
“I was depressed at a very, very young age. Fascinated with death, wondering what it would be like to have a funeral. I never knew why I would think so darkly and it took me a long time to figure out what was actually going on.”
“When he said Shorty I remember thinking, ‘I’m about beat this bitch up.’ I just came to a breaking point,” Lovato says about the infamous incident in 2009 when she assaulted one of her back up dancers Alex ‘Shorty’ Welch after he told Lovato’s father, Kevin Jonas Sr. and Lovato’s manager that she was on Adderall.
“I was 18 when I first went into treatment. When I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder, it just made sense.” Lovato said that following the event, she entered rehab and learned about why she experienced episodes of mania as a child, causing her to stay up all night writing music.
“I went on a bender for two months where I was using daily. There was one night where I used a bunch of coke, and I popped a few Xanax bars and I started to choke a little bit. My heart started racing and I remember thinking, ‘Oh my god, I might be overdosing right now,'” Lovato says of not being ready to get clean after treatment.
“I was either using drugs or craving drugs. I was not easy to work with. I was using while I had a sober companion. I went through about 20 different sober companions.”
“There was this core group of girls, who in my eyes, were pure fucking evil. When I asked them why, no one could give me a specific reason why,” said Lovato. “I went off of what they were calling me, which was a whore and being fat.” Lovato called her mother and said she was leaving school, with the bullying setting off her eating disorder.
“One thing that I haven’t fully conquered is my eating disorder,” says Lovato. “The less I have to think about food, the easier it is for me to go about having a normal life. And I don’t want to let anybody down, so when I do have moments when I slip up, I feel very ashamed. What started the relapse was missing Wilmer (Valderrama).”
Watch Demi Lovato’s Simply Complicated below.