Thirty-one years ago today, in a fictional Chicago, five teenagers from five different backgrounds all went to weekend detention. The Breakfast Club brought together Claire the princess, Brian the brain, Andrew the athlete, Allison the basketcase and Bender the criminal.
When thinking about this classic movie today, we fell into the old standard debate: Which type of person are you? This got us thinking, “Where do our fave young celebs fall in the world of Breakfast Club cliques?” Sure, they don’t all fit perfectly but that is what makes The Breakfast Club so great. It shows us that although titles and categories exist, people can be very complex.
Qualities of The Princess: Popular and pretty. They are sexually modest which some people consider prudish. They come from a wealthy family with parents who love them. Their first priority is that they are admired and seen as proper. They eat sushi before it is trendy.
Why Taylor Swift Is A Princess: a) Popular and pretty. b) She is sexually modest which some people consider prudish. c) She comes from a wealthy family with parents who love her. d) Her first priority is that she is admired and seen as a proper lady. e) She ate pumpkin shizz before it was trendy. Textbook princess.
Other Princesses: Lily Collins, Gigi Hadid, Dakota Johnson, Ariana Grande
Qualities of The Brain: Above everything else, SMART. Has opinions and can back them up with their incredible knowledge base. They feel the pressure of expectation more fully than any other type of person. Can be shy because other people don’t understand their type of personality.
Why Emma Watson Is A Brain: Okay, it is very hard to find a true brain in the mould of The Breakfast Club in Hollywood. There are plenty of smart people. But it does take a type of anti-brain personality, social-wise to become famous. There aren’t that many people who are total outcasts in the celeb realm unless they are the basketcase type (see below). But, Emma Watson is a brain because she embodies the number one quality of a brain, the, well… brain. She graduated from Brown University with a bachelor’s degree in English literature last year. She also became a spokesperson for He For She, a gender equality charity that she has spoken about at the United Nations.
Other Brains: J. Cole, Lena Dunham, Natalie Portman, Mayim Bialik, James Franco
Qualities of The Basketcase: Does what they want, when they want to, like eat a sandwich of butter, Cap’n Crunch and Pixy Stix. They are quiet but when they do talk what they say is surprising and often thoughtful. They can be unpredictable. Very deep.
Why Shia LaBeouf Is A Basketcase: Unpredictability is key here. From showing up on the red carpet premiere of Nymphomaniac with a bag over his head and rejecting his fame, to his antics at a New York performance of Cabaret, you never know what Shia is going to do. Like all basketcases he both loves and shuns attention. He doesn’t do many interviews but when he does, he usually has something interesting to say about the nature of celebrity. Plus, he probs eats junk.
Other Basketcases: Willow and Jaden Smith, James Franco, Sia, Kanye West, Kristen Stewart
Qualities of The Athlete: Like the princess, the athlete is popular, pretty and privileged. They are incredibly confident in a way that allows them to both act silly and dance and then also call the shots in serious situations. They are well-liked and worshiped by the masses. And did I say pretty?
Why Zac Efron Is An Athlete: Although the athlete is serious, they are also so well-liked that they don’t have the same fear of looking foolish when acting funny that most people do. One of the great moments of The Breakfast Club is when the gang dances around the library. The breakout dancer is definitely Andrew, the athlete. Zac Efron is the total package, he can dance, sing, crack jokes and act. He also has an incredibly athletic body.
Other Athletes: Jimmy Fallon, Channing Tatum, Chris Hemsworth
Qualities of The Criminal: An “eff it all” attitude. They are prone to outbursts and also enjoy provoking reactions from others, especially innocents like the princess type. They are anti-establishment and have a problem with authority. They like to make people feel uncomfortable, and despite claiming nihilism, actually have a strong sense of purpose.
Why Kanye West Is A Criminal: This one was tough. Kanye also fits nicely under the basketcase title, but what makes him a better fit for the criminal is his image consciousness. Whereas a basketcase doesn’t really care how they come off to others, criminals have a carefully crafted rebellious attitude. Don’t get it twisted, the criminal can be as conscious about how they are perceived as the princess. Kanye also clearly loves to provoke and does have a history of flipping off authority.
Other Criminals: Justin Bieber, Chris Brown, Shia LaBeouf