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Ideal Holiday Gifts For This Week’s South Park Stars

Thu, November, 30 by

You know you’re approaching the end of a South Park season when earlier episodes have surpassed their online rights windows and disappeared from Much.com, leaving but a whisper in the dark and other episodes that haven’t expired yet. It’s a reminder to not take for granted that which is embedded above!

This week’s hot pot of thought rot features a new character named Strong Woman who takes the role of Vice Principal and forces PC Principal to face a very difficult situation after he finds himself falling for her.  On the other side of the ‘sode, Kyle is shocked to find out he no longer finds Terrance & Phillip funny, leading to accusations that he’s turning into his mother. The prophecy fulfils itself when Kyle leads a campaign against a culture of Canadian meanness created by T&P, stoking the involvement of President Garrison himself.

It was a difficult week for the episode’s main characters and with the holidays around the corner, we feel they deserve an early gift. We’ve assigned one hot item to each major player, which we hope you will purchase and send to us. Since these characters are not real people we will role play in their stead right here at Much HQ to ensure that gifts are used as intended, and send you a personalized thank you card in return.

 

Terrance & Phillip

The health of these aging Canadian comedy legends is thrown into question this week, so we’d like to help by giving them the opportunity to make nutritious meals with a new Instant Pot. The electric pressure cooker is on every foodie’s list this holiday season and will make vat after vat of hearty stews in no time. Plus, the manual steam release will give Terrance & Phillip visions of farts dancing in their heads.

PC Principal

The usually level-headed PC Principal found himself with many questions this week, and who better to answer them than Alexa? The second-generation Amazon Echo comes loaded with America’s favourite artificially intelligent assistant and will not judge questions asked of it, unlike Mr. Mackey.

Strong Woman

A strong woman like Strong Woman doesn’t need a man to live a good life, but wouldn’t it be cool to become one for a bit? With titles like The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Super Mario Odyssey, the Nintendo Switch will give Vice Principal Woman control over video games’ most famous dudes, while its innovative portability means she can take it from home to office without missing a beat.

President Garrison

The most powerful man in the world needs a powerful tool and there’s nothing more powerful than the iPhone X with its 5.8 inch Super Retina screen and new Face ID technology.

Kyle

A more mature Kyle has rejected the fart-heavy cartoons that once filled his youth with joy so he’ll need something new to entertain himself.  We recommend Midwinter Break by Bernard MacLaverty, which The Guardian named as one of the top works of fiction in 2017. The tale of an elderly Scottish couple reflecting on their longtime relationship during a holiday to Amsterdam will no doubt open Kyle’s eyes to the complexities of adulthood.

We’re pretty sure the season finale of South Park airs next Wednesday on Much at 10e/7p!