Tonight’s brand new episode of Pretty Little Liars had everything we could ask for; a wedding, a flashback, a love triangle (or two), a proposal, and one of Liars almost getting hit by a car. Just a regular night in Rosewood. Let’s discuss!
Hanna and Emily bring Alison to the Radley to show her the giant hole in the wall that Sara Harvey managed to carve without anyone noticing, but it’s been covered. The girls use their outside voices while hiding in a closet and sneak out past a maid, who totally heard them but didn’t care because they were wearing a mask.
Caleb has taken to politics like a fish to water and encrypts the opposition’s files about Mrs. Hastings and her cancer. Still, Spencer confronts her mother and makes her go on live television to tell the voters she’s had a clean bill of health for eight months. Wouldn’t this information be more pertinent if she still had cancer? This is really a missed opportunity for her to talk about the Rosewood healthcare system.
It seemed that everything had been solved, until news hit that someone leaked Yvonne Phillip’s medical records and revealed that she had an abortion in high school, a big move for someone whose mother is running on a pro-life platform. The IP address is linked to Spencer’s computer, but Caleb takes the bullet and is ordered to pack his bags by Mrs. Hastings. Where will he stay? We assume Lucas’ apartment. It’s the place people go when they have a million other housing options. Is Lucas ever coming back? Who will make Spencer coffee in the morning? Whose nails will she bite in her sleep? Also, ew.
Melissa is back and she bought a new suitcase. Spencer and Caleb question her about her crappy luggage and she says that she had to buy a new one after dragging the old one around the streets of Philly to avoid traffic from a baseball game. In addition to being the world’s hottest hacker, Caleb is also something of a baseball savant and knows that Philly was playing an away game the day Charlotte was murdered. Dun dun duuuuuun.
Emily and Hanna think that Melissa totally did it. Emily has no proof and just likes to jump on bandwagons. Hanna delivers our second time hop memory, this time of when she ran into Melissa in a bathroom in London. Melissa had just been dumped by Wren after he received a call from Charlotte, who was still locked up. Melissa assumes that Wren found out about her accidentally killed Bethany Young and Melissa was furious with Charlotte. Cool story, Hanna. Charlotte locked you up and tortured you. Melissa got dumped. You still look guiltier.
Emily is hitting the books again and signs up for class at Hollis. Damian, who interviewed Spencer about the Liars, befriends Emily after noticing they’re both taking Intro to Psych. What a coincidence! That’s like befriending a third grader because you both got recess. What a coincidence! Hanna spots Damian when he FaceTime’s Emily (a bold move for someone you just met) and gives her a heads up.
Emily can’t get anything out of Damian and decides to check out the diner where the call was made to the DiLaurentis house the night Charlotte died. The diner is in the middle of nowhere and true to form, Emily parks as far away as possible and goes alone. BTW, there’s no cell service. You never disappoint, PLL. The diner looks abandoned and someone tries running Emily over with a monster truck about five times. She climbs up a trailer and finds a broken luggage handle, but drops it when the truck hits the trailer. She doesn’t see who’s driving, but confirms that it’s two people after the girls.
Aria finally comes clean to Ezra about writing his book and he’s not nearly as annoyed as you would think an angry, depressed drunk person would be.
They meet at the Radley to go over the chapters and Ezra runs into Liam, who quickly learns that Ezra wasn’t just Aria’s teacher. This is probably information that should have come from Aria. Liam asks Aria if she came back to Rosewood because of Ezra and she doesn’t answer. The truth of ‘no silly, it’s because I’m being investigated for murdering someone who stalked and tortured me for years’ doesn’t sound much better. Let’s go with the ex-boyfriend angle.
Speaking of Aria, she’s tasked with marrying Byron and Ella sans Mike, who thinks his dad is still a cheater. Aria delivers a beautiful service while Hanna displays terrible judgement in knowing what’s appropriate to wear to a wedding.
Liam shows up and forgives Aria and continues to get better looking with each episode.
Alison finally receives her first text from ‘A’. Congrats! It’s about why Charlotte left her house the night she was killed. Alison tells Elliott that she had just come clean to Charlotte about their relationship and Charlotte felt betrayed and took off. Elliott decides that this would be a good time to propose to Alison, who last week asked him to hold her hand in public and he refused.
The two rush to the Montgomery house to see if Aria is up for performing her second ceremony of the day. Just so we’re clear, he’s totally marrying her because you can’t be called to testify against your spouse, right? So Elliott killed Charlotte. Cue Aria’s totally appropriate reaction to their request.