Selena Gomez just made her American debut on the cover of Vogue Magazine and used the opportunity to open up to the mag about her past and her new healthy present.
After taking time off in 2016 to seek treatment for exhaustion, Gomez says that she’s finally in a place of peacefulness, with no movies and new albums in the near future. The 24-year-old revealed that she spends her days with friends and family and has found Dialectical Behavior Therapy as the best way for her to stay mentally healthy.
“I wish more people would talk about therapy,” says Gomez in the April issue of Vogue. “We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.”
Selena, who currently lives in an Airbnb home in California, says that her 2016 decision to cancel the remaining dates of her Revival Tour and seek treatment was the result of feeling isolated and insecure.
“Tours are a really lonely place for me,” she explains. “My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it—which, I think, was a complete distortion. I was so used to performing for kids. At concerts I used to make the entire crowd raise up their pinkies and make a pinky promise never to allow anybody to make them feel that they weren’t good enough. Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I’m looking into their eyes, and I don’t know what to say. I couldn’t say, ‘Everybody, let’s pinky-promise that you’re beautiful!’ It doesn’t work that way, and I know it because I’m dealing with the same shit they’re dealing with. What I wanted to say is that life is so stressful, and I get the desire to just escape it. But I wasn’t figuring my own stuff out, so I felt I had no wisdom to share. And so maybe I thought everybody out there was thinking, This is a waste of time.”
Gomez says that logging off social media, including Instagram, where at 110 million followers she is the most followed person online, has helped with her mental health. “As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out,” Gomez says. “It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to.”
Now Gomez is largely absent from Instagram and keeps her circle tight, saying only about 17 people have her phone number and two of them are famous. We’re guessing those two are Taylor Swift and new boyfriend The Weeknd. When asked about her romantic life, Gomez said that her new strategy is to stay quiet.
In addition to her candid new cover story, Gomez also invited Vogue Magazine to her home for their ’73 Questions’ video series. Keeping the topics much lighter for the video, Gomez revealed that her dream collaborator is Elvis Presley, a style of music she’d love to try is jazz, and her alternative career to entertainer would be chef.
Gomez also praised her family throughout the question and answer period, citing her mother as her role model and applauding her relatives for their skills at arguing. A self-declared Bruno Mars fan, Gomez loves singing along to “That’s What I Like” in the car and can never get enough of Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling’s Crazy Stupid Love. She cites Meryl Streep as her spirit animal and Natalie Portman as the most fashionable woman she knows. Gomez revealed that she loves depressing things and is most creative when she’s sad. See: 2014’s “The Heart Wants What It Wants” for proof.