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We hope you’ve noticed and appreciated that we’ve expertly embedded this week’s incredibly new episode of South Park above. The episode is titled “Franchise Prequel”, acting as a literal prequel to the upcoming South Park video game, The Fractured But Whole, and referencing a fun little plot device used within the episode itself. If you enjoy these types of fun moves from creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, you can easily enhance your digestion of this post by thinking of this paragraph as the sequel to “Franchise Prequel”. Then continue reading where we create a sequel to this paragraph, completing the blog’s blogmatic universe. Stick around for a post-credits sequence that (*spoiler alert*) will probably just be the built-in share buttons that come standard with every Much-branded blog.
Okay, so in this episode of the show Coon and Friends return to plot out their own cinematic universe but get disrupted by Professor Chaos who leads a campaign of fake news against the superhero team on Facebook. Disturbed by the fake allegations against Coon and Friends, the townsfolk call upon Mark Zuckerberg himself for help. But Facebook’s creator causes more trouble than expected, forcing Coon and Friends into action to stop Zuckerberg and undo Professor Chaos’ defiling of their good name.
All this talk about movies and cinematic universes got us thinking about movies and cinematic universes, inspiring our imaginations to cast our own South Park live action franchise. After much debate and consultation with Hollywood’s biggest agents, we present to you our choices for the main boys:
This boy proved he’s got the comedic chops and proper body type to portray the infamous Eric Cartman. The character he plays in IT—this year’s mega Hollywood horror hit—isn’t as brash as the animated Cartman, but we’re confident he’d be scary GOOD in our movie.
As one of the breakout stars in the highest grossing horror movie of all time, this IT boy is the perfect choice to play Stan, the de-facto leader of the South Park gang.
This boy’s recent run includes huge roles in the spooky throwback hit Stranger Things, as well as IT, a movie based on Stephen King’s book about a group of kids who aren’t scared of a clown who is killing everyone. This boy has what it takes to portray Kyle Broflovski including a sharp tongue that is willing to swear. But he’d better hurry up and be in this movie because puberty is quickly turning him from boy to man.
You might assume that playing Kenny would be easy because his face and voice is obscured by his famous parka, but we think it will take the subtlety of a special boy actor to do the job right. That’s why we looked toward the new movie IT and the boy who played Stan Uris. He didn’t have the most lines, but when he did talk we listened—as did audiences worldwide who showed up in droves to help make IT this year’s must see film.
We’re pretty sure there’s another new episode of South Park next week. Find out for sure by watching Much Wednesday at 10e/7p.