This is part ten in a thirteen part series of hand-typed Internet posts concerning the first season of South Park, the show not the town.
With this episode we’ve left the comfortable confides of 1997 and entered 1998. This is the year I turned sixteen, got my driver’s license, immediately backed my mom’s Chevy into a high curb at McDonald’s, got it fixed right away, and continued to be the best son money could buy. Meanwhile, the creators of South Park were eager to prove to detractors that they were not pro-Satan by pitting the Lord of Rock ‘n Roll against Jesus himself.
“Damien” premiered February 4, 1998, a day on which British Prime Minister Tony Blair began a four day visit to the United States of America. Did he watch South Park? We’ve reached out to Parliament and are awaiting a reply. We thank you for your patience.
There’s a new kid in class named Damien and he’s the son of Satan. The whole school hates him so he’s not invited to Cartman’s big birthday party. Damien coaxes Jesus into meeting with Satan and a boxing match is proposed to once and for all end the battle of good vs. evil. Everyone bets against Jesus because he’s skinny and Satan is strong and Jesus is disappointed.
The Damien character is a transparent reference to The Omen, a film that’s also about a Satan boy named Damien.
Mr. Garrison teaches a lesson on musicians of the Baroque era and incorrectly references Nancy Sinatra who is the daughter of legendary suit-wearer, Frank Sinatra and not a lady from the 17th century.
Damien is insulted when Kyle asks if he got his hair cut by Stevie Wonder. Wonder is blind, and thus would not be effective at cutting hair. His throat is not blind though, as he is one of the most celebrated musicians of our time.
Cartman wants a bunch of toys from a line called Mega Man, which was a video game about a blue robot kid with a gun arm. The toys in the show more resemble a cross between real life toys Power Rangers and Voltron.
Legendary boxing promoter and convicted murderer Don King makes a cameo as Satan’s promoter.
The real Michael Buffer appears as himself, announcing the big fight and prepares the crowd for the impending rumbling.
Stan steals a line from Star Trek in order to pump up Jesus. Watch Star Trek: Discovery September 24 on Space. He also tries to motivate Jesus by citing figure skater Nancy Kerrigan who famously got clubbed on the knee by a dude in cahoots with her rival, Tonya Harding.
(Regarding Satan) “Now that is a man who has eaten a lot of beef.” – Jimbo
Satan, Jesus, boxing, and birthday parties remain in the zeitgeist today so this episode holds up just fine, just like a hamburger or well made bra.
This episode is pretty much perfect except for the character of Damien who I don’t really like that much. In conclusion, it gets a rating of 134 out of 135 lbs.
South Park returns for its 21st season Wednesday on Much!