As we reported earlier this week, DJ/producer Deadmau5 was going to take Toronto Mayor Rob Ford for a drive as part of his YouTube show, Coffee Run. Now you can watch all 30 gloriously boring minutes of it online.
And we know what you’re thinking: “Why would I ever do that?” Good point. You shouldn’t. Which is why we did it for you. And the following are some quick notes on the important things you missed:
0:15 – “Comfy?” “Yeah” “You won’t be, not the way I drive.” …Then awkward silence as Deadmau5 starts the car.
0:46 – What might be the most awkward face we’ve ever seen Deadmau5 make. Is this why he wears a mouse helmet most of the time?
[Awkward talk of parking garages]
2:28 – “I love football…it’s cool.”
[Cue awkward football talk; Deadmau5 knows very little about the topic]
4:08 – “So is it a big cat? Is that what you like?” Rob asks, referring to Deadmau5’s Purrari car featuring Nyan Cat on it. “It’s just this stupid internet joke that everyone hates and it is the online definition of annoying,” he admits. (HEY, WE LIKE NYAN CAT) “But then it grew on me.” (GOOD)
6:30 – Rob starts his campaign speech, talking about fixing potholes and roads.
7:32 – “My job is, see the sidewalks, traffic lights, roads development, anything that you can visually see. Garbage parks, trees…water…oh, this thing can fly.” The car speeds up.
8:27 – A guy cuts Deadmau5 off. “Are you for real? DID YOU SEE THAT?” He speeds up, Ford holds on for dear life. “Now I’m mad.”
[Rob continues to use the phrase “I’m toast” while Deadmau5 continues to use the word “funner” which is most definitely not a word.]
11:00 – More talk about roads.
11:40 – “Do you drink coffee, even?” “Yeah, a little bit. I like espressos, to tell you the truth.”
12:35 – Deadmau5 orders an extra-large double-double, Ford orders five espressos in one cup. “What does that equate to?” “I don’t know, but it’s good, man.” “That’s cardiac arrest.” Woman working at Tim Horton’s doesn’t understand, asks a few times to clarify their order.
14:29 – “I wanna open a Tim Horton’s,” says Deadmau5
16:05 – “I pound these espressos back.” No really.
[Ford complains about the Pan Am Games, calls the expensive BMX track a scam and admits that he was never in favour of the games. “I don’t think we’re ready for them.”]
…Okay, we’re not gonna lie. We didn’t finish it. But the fact that we lasted two thirds of this video is A FEAT. Where’s our prize for that?
Take a look at the rest of the video, if you dare, below.